Hey! If you’ve been keeping up with us, then you know there are so many beautiful parts to wedding days- and maybe some not so great moments also.

I’m gonna let you in on a little piece of my own personal experience that I would do over if I had the chance.

When wedding planning there are big moments, big dreams, and a list of “Important” things a mile long. Sometimes, you have contributors that want to help make your day special and they come with the absolute best of intentions- BUT that doesn’t always mean you have to accept that contribution. In fact, I think it’s healthy to suggest something like, “Actually, we have that area of the wedding covered, but if you would still like to contribute, here are a few things we would love to have you contribute towards.”

It says, ‘I appreciate what you’re offering, but that is not where we need/want the contribution’. If they no longer want to contribute, that is okay- let me say that one more time- it is OKAY if they are not willing to contribute. It will be worth you getting the things you want out of your wedding, rather than looking back and regretting feeling obligated to do something just because someone offered.

Okay, I know, you came for the tea-

So here it is.

Picture it, we’ve announced that we’re getting married and are in the throws of planning. We have yet to choose a photographer and are looking all over at reviews and examples when we get an offer. My MIL offers to cover the photographer. She has someone in mind and that’s a pretty big bundle that we wouldn’t have to factor into our scarce wedding budget. Plus, the obligation- I was feeling it. Of course my husband had already said yes upon her offering and I had no reason to fight that at the time.

As we got closer to the wedding I got that feeling -you know the one- that nagging feeling to ask more questions. My now husband (aka dreamboat extraordinaire) assured me that it would be fine, he’d even met the man at one of his mom’s photo shoots.

Oh, did I not mention? She’s a model, so no pressure there, and her photographer was a model photographer.

If you know anything about photography, then you know that not all photographers are created equal, and neither are their styles. A wedding photographer has “wedding” in the title for a reason.

I was very hesitant, but I was also 21, feeling major obligation vibes, and it was too close to the wedding to change my mind.

So here we are- more than a few years of marriage later with a couple okay pictures and a lot of… well… other pictures. It’s really the only regret that I still thank about from time to time. My bridesmaid’s half shut eyes in each picture still haunting me. It’s not something I can change, but it’s certainly not a mistake I’ll make at our *mumbles something about ten* year anniversary.

All that I ask of you is- please, learn from my mistake and hire your own photographer.

Alright, no more tea for you. Until next time, you nosey nellies.